Just a little insight on Me, Meg...

Photos.Quotes.Describe.Influence.Meg
Not my favs...just the ones I pulled from one site.


Timeless Beauty.
Simple Pure.
Blue.



Romantic.
Dark.
Soothing.
Wishing..sigh..



I <3 the FiveAwesomeGuys..
Here is to you Johnnydurham19..lol loved the blog show!



I have so much to say.
Have grown So much in the past year.
Open and Willing to Listen.


Kevs.
I think I loved you.
I wish you weren't so far away.
I miss your eyes.
<3


Describes me perfectly.
Except I am a girl.
Born on the 18th.
Wishing there was a guy out there like this.


Donnie Darko.
Love.



Traveling <3.


\
So true.


Parks at night.
Chris.
Warmth.
Shivers.
Stars.


HeHE!!


Dizzy.
Once.
Alone.
Thrilling.
Slick


Wholesome.
Sweet.
Gentle.
Nich.
Wish to have one day.
Nice place to call my own.
Daydream.


Night.
Takes my breath away.
All I need out of life.

Thats it!

A,B,C's of megan

A
- Available: Yes..
- Age: 17
- Annoyance: Pretty much everything right now..COlleges Phone Bills
- Animal: Duck

B
- Birthday: March 18
- Best Friends: Sarah, Tommy, Victoria, Fred, Chuck...
- Body Part on opposite sex: Eyes..and neck/hands?
- Best feeling in the world: Traveling
- Blind or Deaf: Deaf
- Been in Love: yes..
- Been on stage: yup
- Believe in Magic: No..not really
- Believe in Santa: Fuck Christmas

C
- Candy: Starbursts
- Color: Green or blue
- Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate
- Chinese/Mexican: Chinese
- Cake or pie: Cake..or cobbler..but no pie.
- Continent to visit: Europe
- Cheese: WOuld you like some cheese with that whine?

D
- Day or Night: Night..stars, moon, pure beauty
- Dance in the rain: haha I did once. It was lame.

E
- Eyes: Mine are green like my dad's
- Everyone’s got a(n): problem
- Ever failed a class? Never

F
- Full name: Megan Rae Phelps
- First thoughts waking up: I want to snuggle =[
- Food: mm Burito..mhmmm Burtio...

G
- Greatest Fear: Ending up like my mom...in any way
- Goals: See the world.
- Gum: Once my Juciy Fruit Disinigrated in my mouth...
- Get along with your parents?: My mothers and achohlic..Love my dad
- Good luck charm: nope.

H
- Hair Color: blonde
- Height: 5'2
- Happy: it comes around every once and a while
- Holiday: yes please.
- How do you want to die: I don't know.

I
- Ice Cream: ColdStone's cake batter with rasberries and brownies.
- Instrument: Learning to play the guitar

J
-Jewelry: Never wear any
- Job: Deribergs Floral and Bakery CLerk

K
- Kids: No..not sure I want any..ever
- Kickboxing or karate: Kickboxing
- Keep a journal?: I just got one..."Wreck the journal"

L
- Longest Car Ride: I dk to Minnesota
- Love: I thought maybe with Kevin
- Letter: O
- Laughed so hard you cried: it's been a long time
- Last funniest thing: My sister running over a metal plate THUNK..."SO do you think we can drive over the plate?"

M
- Milk flavor: Chocolate
- Movies: DOnnie Darko
- Motion sickness?: Nah.
- McD’s or BK: BK

N
- Number of Siblings: one
- Number of Piercings: None
- Number: 18

O
- One wish: See the world

P
- Perfect Pizza: meat lovers.
- Pepsi/Coke: Sprite

Q
- Quote: *it's funny how hello is always
accompanied with goodbye,
it's funny how good memories
can start to make you cry.
it's funny how forever
never seems to really last,
it's funny how much you'd lose
if you forgot about your past.
it's funny how "friends" can just
leave you when you're down,
it's funny how when you need someone
they're never around.
it's funny how people change
and think they`re so much better,
it's funny how many lies
can be packed in one "love letter".
it's funny how people forgive
even though they can't forget,
it's funny how one night
can contain so much regret.
it's funny how ironic life turns out to be,
but the funniest part of all,
is that none of that's funny to me.*

R
- Reason to cry: My Mom
- Reality T.V.: Project RUnway
- Radio Station: My Ipod
- Roll your tongue in a circle?: No?

S
- Song: right now.."AT LAst"
- Shoe size: 7 and a half
- Salad Dressing: I don't like salad
- Slept outside: ugh I don't want to remember that night
- Smoked?: Nope!
- Skinny dipped?: Maybe some day
- Sing well?: In the car..yes
- In the shower?: "I've just seen a face"
- Swear?: Not often..only when I'm talking about my mom
- Strawberries/Blueberries: strawberrys

T
- Time for bed: WHenever
- Thunderstorms: LOVE

U
- Unpredictable: nah...

V
- Vacation spot: ROme

W
- Weakness: I guess being uptight...
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you?: Not sure.
- Who makes you laugh the most: Tommy
- Worst feeling: being alone.
- Wanted to be a model?: I like food.
- Where do we go when we die? How about you die and then tell me.
- Worst Weather?: St. Louis weather

X
-Ex's: Not alot..guys tend to just stop talking to me.

Y
-Year it is now: 2008..but not for long
-Yellow: OldYeller

Z
- Zoo animal: Tiger

LAST PERSON WHO…
1.you went to the mall with? I go by myself
3. You went to dinner with? Victoria for lunch
4. You talked to on the phone? MY phone is shut off.
5. Made you laugh? My sister
6. Hugged you? Sister
7. Said they loved you?
8. Held your hand? Premal
9. Spoke with? Dad

Hoilday

I know this might surprise some people..
but..I really don't like Christmas.
Blah...
It just makes me feel even more lost and alone
...angry with my parents/family.

But I wish everyone a great Christmas.
My thoughts are out there for all those who are less fortunate then me!
Stay warm and enjoy the time spent with loved ones...(I don't know If I will be able to)

In the past four days I have worked some 30 or more hours..
Which for a part time employee..kicks my behind.
Tired..deprived of friendship
(My phone has been shut off)

Just feeling really lost and confused..typical for this time of year.
Colorado just now asked for my semester grades..so won't have an answer from them for at least another 3 weeks...I hate this

You know you take the time and energy to apply for early incentive..
BAh! it's been two months...

How can you have so much to say
but nothing to talk about???

I can.

let's talk about rejection
confusion
lies
manipulation
total disregard of you as a human being worth knowing.

2008:
Never been this hurt..felt this much pain...had my heart torn to shreds..before

[ ]stayed single
[x] got kissed..
[x] kissed someone new..Kevs
[x] made out
[x] made out in a car...does a bus count?
[ ] kissed in the snow
[ ] kissed in the rain
[x] fell for a fool..don't we all?
[x] had my heart broken...Kevs
[x] broke someone else's heart
[x] had a stalker..ahaha
[x] lost a friend
[ ] had a good relationship with someone
[ ] questioned my sexual orientation
[ ] came out of my closet
[ ] thought I was pregnant / thought I got someone pregnant
[ ] had an abortion
[ ] got married
[ ] got divorced
[ ] kissed someone of the same sex
[x] met someone that I will never forget
[x] did something I regret
[x] lost my true love
[x] got hurt by the person you least expected
[ ] lost faith in love
[ ] kissed under mistletoe
[ ] got a promotion
[ ] got a pay raise
[ ] changed jobs ( well...departments, when promoted)
[ ] lost my job
[ ] quit my job
[ ] dated a co-worker
[ ] had something with my boss
[ ] dated my boss's son/daughter
[ ] got straight A's
[x] met a teacher who I became friends with
[ ] met a teacher who I really hate
[ ] found the subject I love
[ ] failed a class
[ ] cut class
[ ] skipped school
[x] did something I was proud of
[x] discovered a new talent
[x] proved myself
[x] embarrassed myself in front of the class
[ ] fell in love with a teacher
[x] was involved in something that I will never forget
[x] drew a picture
[x] wrote a poem
[x] listened to music I couldn't stand
[x] double dipped
[ ] skinny dipped
[ ] went to a sleepover
[x] went to camp
[ ] threw a surprise party
[x] laughed till I cried
[ ] laughed till I peed my pants
[x] flirted shamelessly
[ ] visited a foreign country
[x] visited another state
[ ] cooked a disastrous meal
[x] lost something important to me
[x] got a gift I love
[x] realized something new about myself
[ ] dyed my hair
[x] came close to losing my life
[ ] someone close to me died
[x] went to a party
[x] drank alcohol
[ ] got arrested
[x] read a great book
[x] saw a great movie
[ ] saw a movie so scary that it made me cry
[ ]saw a band live or concert/show
[x]did something that I want to tell everyone
[x]experienced something new
[x] made new friends
[x] found out who your real friends are
[x] lied to your parents
[ ] got in trouble with police
[ ] kissed in a pool
[ ] kissed under the stars
[ ] had the time of your life
[x] danced
[ ] fell out of love
[x] had a crush on someone
[ ] liked two people at once
[ ] changed your sexual preference
[x] swam in a pool
[ ] made a snowman
[ ] went snowboarding
[ ] went sledding
[x] slept in past 2pm
[x] held someones hand
[x] held someones hand that you cared about
[ ] got wasted in a public place
[ ] got wasted in Mexico
[ ] told someone you like them as more than a friend
[ ]gone on vacation
[ ]gone on vacation with a friend
[x] driven a car
[ ] played strip poker
[ ] danced in the rain
[x] got in a fist fight
[x] laughed until you couldn't breathe
[ ] had an amazing year
[x] missed someone
[x] got hit by a car
[ ] went to the hospital
[ ] got a new pet
[ ] enjoyed this year overal

Love...My Love...

His venom seeps deep into the cracks of my broken heart.
His presence has been streaming through my veins all along.
He picked me out the way a wolf scans the heard..
searching..dedicated to finding the most vulnerable.
My insecurities only fed the fire.
He saw the beauty of my flaws something that could sustain him.
His teeth sunk deep into my bones,
his eyes scanned my soul..working like a charm.
The raw power of those emotions..the connection that consumed us
He knew he had to take me for all that I was.
In a few short moments our bond would be broken
His discovery needed to remain a secret..something completely his own.
He filled me with his poison..watched as it silently flowed through my veins
Every sensation was meant for him..and only him.
He deserted me as soon as the drug kicked in.
I crave him, yearn for him,
Only him.
this beauty was to great of a discovery.
Sharing wasn't an option.
He's out there somewhere..forgetting all about me.
I have yet to find a drug that can fulfill this craving.
Loathing should pulse through my veins, right along side his potent traces of love.
Yet I thank him.
Thank him for bringing my beauty to the surface.
Thank him for seeing something in me I refused to believe.
Thank him for raising the standards.
One day I will meet someone as truly beautiful as him.
Until then I am left with the memory of him..with the taste of his drug.

*Impulse*

At the beginning of this year I read Impulse by Ellen Hopkins. The book was amazing, I just couldn't seem to put it down. It was tragic yet beautiful with a poetic feel.
I cracked it open tonight to fish out some lit devices and found my airplane ticket from Colorado inside. A trip that I took myself, that meant the world to me. I truly love this book and encourage everyone to read it!
Here's a preview:
"Three tapestries, tattered at the edges and come unwoven to reveal a single mutual thread.
The Thread
Wish
you could turn off the questions, turn off the voices, turn off al sound.
Yearn
to close out the ugliness, close out the filthiness, close out all light.
Long
to cast away yesterday, cast away memory, cast away all jeopardy.
Pray
you could somehow stop the uncertainty, somehow stop the loathing, somehow stop the pain.
Act
on your impulse, swallow the bottle, cut a little deeper, put the gun to your chest."

Questions

TEN WHATS:

1. What was the first thing you thought about when you woke up?
Wondered if I was going to be late to first hour again.

2. What did you do last night?
Worked until 7 then watched John and Kate plus 8!

3. What is the most important part of your life right now?
Working on getting into College...working and getting money...Staying positive

4. What would you rather be doing right now?
Laying on the front lawn in Minnesota at my lake cabin looking up at the stars..Next to this special guy I know...

5. What did you last cry over?
The fight I had with my mom..because I wouldn't buy her booz

6. What always makes you feel better when you're upset?
A really sweet song..thinking about my future all the places I want to go.

7. What are your plans tomorrow?
Going to school, working, and then I dk but it's Freaky Fresh Friday..so dressing to impress.

9. What are you worried about?
Grades, If I will ever be normal, college, my sister...

10. What are you looking forward to most in this week?
Todays guitar lesson then shopping and Saturday because I get to sleep in!

NINE HAVE-YOU-EVERS:

1. Have you ever liked someone with a girlfriend/boyfriend?
Yes.

2. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes. I think it still is..

3. Have you ever played on a sports team?
haha when I was younger I played basketball, softball, was on a swim team, and in HS I was a hockey cheerleader.

4. Have you ever been out of the country?
No =[ Don't worry tho it's only a matter of time

6. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend?
Yes.

7. Have you ever had the cops called on you?
Haha the first HS party I went to had the cops called on them and just a week or two ago another party got called in.

8. Have you ever dated someone younger then you?
No.

9. Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
No! Can't do it!

EIGHT WHOS:

1. Who was the last person you saw?
Sam on my way out of school.

2. Who was the last person you hugged?
hmm this might be really sad that I don't know...maybe my sister when she was leaving

3. Who was the last person you called?
my daddy

4. Who was the last person to call you?
My mom as usual

5. Who was your first crush?
Alec Baca or Seth.

6. Who was the last person to text message you?
Jon! I miss him soo much! (He lives in Chicago)

7.Who is the last person you texted?
Jon.

8. Who did you last yell at?
hmmm. Most likely my mom.

SEVEN WHENS:

1. When was your last shower?
7:10 this morning.

2. When did you last see your mom?
This morning before I left for school.

3. When was your last hug?
Friday?? WHat ever day my sister left.

4. When did you last dress up?
Last freaky fresh friday

5. When was the last time you cried?
2 weeks ago?

6. When did you last go to the movie theatre?
Saturday with Katie. We saw Four Christmasses.

7. When were you born?
March 18, 1991

SIX WHERES:

1. Where do(es) your best friend(s) live?
Arizona and Nebraska

2. Where did you last go?
To school.

3. Where did you last hang out?
hang out? The mall to see that movie.

4. Where do you go to school?
Eureka High School

5. Where is your favorite place to be?
I really like parks at night time.

6. Where did you sleep last night?
Up stairs, first door on the right.

FIVE DO/DOES:

1. Do you like someone right now?
I really wish I didn't..but I think I might?

2. Do they like you too?
Hmm I can't really tell

3. Do you ever wish you were someone else?
Yes.

4. Do you know the muffin man?
Of course. Please.

5. Does the future scare you?
Not at all, I'm way to excited to get out of this awful place.

FOUR WHYS:

1. Why are you best friends with your best friends?
After only knowing Tommy and Sarah for a week, I feel like they know me better then anyone, they make me be the person I want to be. We laugh all the time. I love them....

2. Why did you get a Facebook?:
um hello, to talk to people I would be to shy to talk to otherwise.

3. Why did your parents give you the name you have?
I was supposed to be a guy so my name was going to be Heath Rae Phelps, but instead they named me Megan Rae Phelps. WHich really pissed my aunt off because that was her fav girl name.

4. Why are you doing this survey?:
I don't want to do my lit devices

THREE IFS:

1. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
Um shapeshift?

2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?
Yes, I would stop my mother from marrying my dad.

3. If you were stranded on a desert island and could bring one thing what would it be?
Deff the most amazing guy ever...

TWO WOULD-YOU-EVERS:

1. Would you ever be friends with someone again, who you promised yourself you never would be because they were mean to you?
I don't really know, I doubt it. I am to stuburn

2. Would you ever shave your head to save the person you love?
DUh!

ONE

1. Name a dream you wish to fulfill:
Travel the world!

Wonder

Supossed to be on a date tonight...Instead I'm watching Tommy Boy =/
Fat guy in a little coat
Fat guy in a little coat...
BLAH

Time for a new post?

I watched the Animal Planet tonight!
Was actually excited to see this show that was on tonight.
It was about how frogs worldwide are vanishing. Just POOF. Gone!
I could talk about why and all that, but I think if you're really
that interested then google it. Take the time!

Guitar: learning how to play "I've Just Seen a Face" by the Beatles

The flutter of an eyelash,
matched with the brightness of your smile.
Sparkling heat perfumed with cotton and skin.
Waking up next to you,
after a starry night in your arms.
I would have given you the world,
only if you could have kept that promise.
The promise you gave to me.

Thoughts

So many thoughts crowding my brain.
Can't focus, Can't give in!
So much undiscovered, who is this person?
Family Friends, the people who are supposed to care.
Who am I if nothing remains but denial.
How can you look a nightmare in the face day after day?
Isn't it only natural to block everything out?

Just a few photo's I've taken that actually turned out lovely!

I Fell For YOU

I tried to do Handstands for you,
but every time I fell on you,
ya every time I fell for you!

That song makes me happy!
So my school is sort of in a panic right now, well maybe not my whole school but STUCO for sure.
The Reason:
Last year at this time we had collected over 24,000 cans for our canned food drive
This year we have like 7,000? AHHHH
The goal:
On Friday last year we had collected a total of 50,851 cans that would be donated to NINE different food pantries. This years goal was to meet or break last years.

I'm Scared we won't make it. With the economy and all, we really need to beat our goal! So how it works is well the seniors bring all their cans in on the last turn in day. I mean individual people bring like over 14,000 cans sometimes. And well I don't know too many people with that kind of stash this year.
And yes I am guilty! I don't have a lot of cans at all..I mean like maybe 40?
But I'm planning to buy some tonight at work and to get my boss to buy some...Plus tomorrow is a half day so I'm going door to door in St.Charles fo sho.

But ya...it's not looking good.
Not a lot is going on...We started King Lear in AP Lit so that's great because I love Shakespeare..

OHHHHH I know...so for some reason this kid has been putting dead animals on people's cars in the parking lot at school....Gross?!!!! I don't know who it is or why but I almost threw up today it was sick! Why must people be so immature and twisted?

Portrait of Destruction

So here is a little something I wrote. Im not too proud of it..but it means alot to me so I decided to put it on here.

A snapshot,
One still frame frozen in time,
that's what he made of this love.
Step by step his eyes were on mine as he backed out the door. Wonder in his eyes and a smile on his face, I thought for sure this wasn't goodbye. It wasn't over for me...I don't think it ever will be. If I could go back I wouldn't change a thing. His eyes, his voice, everything about him inspires me. He took from me any possibility of love and kept for himself the portrait of his destruction.

First Post!

Hey so I guess I'm going to use this post as an introduction.
My name is Megan. I really like it when people call me Meg and yes I know it's sort of dumb to force people to call you one thing. Really though I love nicknames, whenever I hear someone call me Meg or a nickname for the first time I get a warm feeling inside. I feel like an individual in their eyes, like someone they really care about. So for all my friends out there that I have given a nick name I <3 you! (Fred, Tommy, Chuck)!!! Ok enough with that rant. I live in Missouri (USA) and am 17 turning 18 in March...yup I didn't get to vote. =[ my real (and one of my few) passions in life is traveling. I have yet to set out to far from home thanks to my wonderful youth. I love the independence it takes to board an airplane by yourself. Getting off experiencing that first inpression. I don't really know if I will be able to stay in one spot for very long. =? The night night sky and stars amaze me. I don't really think any other beauty has riveled that for me yet. I just recently became intrested in music (indie rocks!) It makes me feel like I discover a little bit more about my self with each new song I find. Well thats enough for now! Sorry for such a long post! I really hope People view this site! Leave comments!

-Megs