Saturday, January 29, 2011
Falling in Love
Obsessing
Challenging
Tempting
Starving
Projecting
Questioning
Learning
Adapting
Feeling
Smiling
Testing
Crying
Loathing
Obsessing
...
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
July 13th 2010
It's been a while.
I feel different. Happy. But lost.
I answered my other troubling questions with loving distractions.
Beauty fills the soul,
it's the doubt that troubles creation.
Blink once and you're alive. aware.
ponder and you've lost the battle.
Weight pushes the vitals. Art pressures the mind.
Either way nothing is created. Nothing is lost.
Nothing was there.
The prospect of something great was a mere chance you threw out.
With one breath.
I feel different. Happy. But lost.
I answered my other troubling questions with loving distractions.
Beauty fills the soul,
it's the doubt that troubles creation.
Blink once and you're alive. aware.
ponder and you've lost the battle.
Weight pushes the vitals. Art pressures the mind.
Either way nothing is created. Nothing is lost.
Nothing was there.
The prospect of something great was a mere chance you threw out.
With one breath.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
the perfection within you
The room is dark.
There is a single chair.
One single chair with one window.
The yellow haze fades in.
Depicting a figure, bent, head down.
The chair is hard, cold.
Just as the wood floor, just as the bare feet touching it.
The taste of silence hovers over still air.
The smell of defeat, bearing all throughout the room.
It's an empty room.
It's just an empty soul.
A heart continuously..Thump..Thump...silence.
What was that sound?
The eyes open, what is left to see?
A small crack in the window.
A few seconds later...another splinter.
A tear rolls down the cheek.
"Why must everything fall apart around me?"
Shifting movement.
Hugging bare knees.
The crack is now a gap.
A speckle of white hits the floor.
-A day in the sun with smiles planted on the faces.
"Stop playing these games"
"Where are they now?"
Another tear.
Time passes.
Knees sore. Heart aching.
Awake.
Space..where has it gone.
Curl up tighter..
invasion.
Speckles of light splotch the bare floor.
Window resembles more of a web then before.
The warm light illuminates the ghastly green of the eye.
Blink. Tears.
Feet on floor.
Cool.
-The cool breeze flowing through my hair.. caressing my neck, laughter follows.
Listening...only silence.
Not as heavy as before.
"stop dreaming, why can't I just forget"
Blink.Window splitting.
Eyes heavy, but lifting.
-Staying up late..waking at 5..only to meet laughter.
"I miss that"
hands rubbing.
"Rub away these cruel thoughts"
Rub away.
Hands drop, air floating by.
Light destroying everything.
heart pounding.
Standing. Chair pushed back.
Window shattered.
Glass glittering on the warm floor boards.
Corners of the mouth turning up.
Eye sparkling.
"please let me never forget"
The room is light.
There is a single chair.
A chair pushed over, a window shattered.
The warmth fades in.
Displaying a young woman, eyes shining.
The chair irrelevant, turned aside.
The skin glistens back to life.
Dropllets form under the suns heat.
The taste of wetness, sinks into every pore.
The smell of spring..
The rays of light..
Bring with them the memories.
The memories repressed, avoided.
But never forgotten.
The inhale of the sweet scent.
The inhale of the past.
Inhale your identity..
Inhale the memories..
the people you love,
Accept the change.
Smile for what you've had..
at peace.
There is a single chair.
One single chair with one window.
The yellow haze fades in.
Depicting a figure, bent, head down.
The chair is hard, cold.
Just as the wood floor, just as the bare feet touching it.
The taste of silence hovers over still air.
The smell of defeat, bearing all throughout the room.
It's an empty room.
It's just an empty soul.
A heart continuously..Thump..Thump...silence.
What was that sound?
The eyes open, what is left to see?
A small crack in the window.
A few seconds later...another splinter.
A tear rolls down the cheek.
"Why must everything fall apart around me?"
Shifting movement.
Hugging bare knees.
The crack is now a gap.
A speckle of white hits the floor.
-A day in the sun with smiles planted on the faces.
"Stop playing these games"
"Where are they now?"
Another tear.
Time passes.
Knees sore. Heart aching.
Awake.
Space..where has it gone.
Curl up tighter..
invasion.
Speckles of light splotch the bare floor.
Window resembles more of a web then before.
The warm light illuminates the ghastly green of the eye.
Blink. Tears.
Feet on floor.
Cool.
-The cool breeze flowing through my hair.. caressing my neck, laughter follows.
Listening...only silence.
Not as heavy as before.
"stop dreaming, why can't I just forget"
Blink.Window splitting.
Eyes heavy, but lifting.
-Staying up late..waking at 5..only to meet laughter.
"I miss that"
hands rubbing.
"Rub away these cruel thoughts"
Rub away.
Hands drop, air floating by.
Light destroying everything.
heart pounding.
Standing. Chair pushed back.
Window shattered.
Glass glittering on the warm floor boards.
Corners of the mouth turning up.
Eye sparkling.
"please let me never forget"
The room is light.
There is a single chair.
A chair pushed over, a window shattered.
The warmth fades in.
Displaying a young woman, eyes shining.
The chair irrelevant, turned aside.
The skin glistens back to life.
Dropllets form under the suns heat.
The taste of wetness, sinks into every pore.
The smell of spring..
The rays of light..
Bring with them the memories.
The memories repressed, avoided.
But never forgotten.
The inhale of the sweet scent.
The inhale of the past.
Inhale your identity..
Inhale the memories..
the people you love,
Accept the change.
Smile for what you've had..
at peace.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Woot Woot!
On Saturday I got my acceptance letter to Colorado University!!! I'm going to college..my dream school! enough said!
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Spring is in the air. We have had weather in the 60's and 70's for the past two days.
The air smells sweet and wet. Yesterday I got up at 7 instead of 8, fixed my cute short hair, went to the bank, got a smoothie, and then went to school. The whole time I was completely content with my life. It's almost been a year now since I went to Washington D.C. yet my head is constantly filled with the memories. The people I met there were amazing, I found my first glimpse of what love is, and I got to experience a new city all on my own. Every scent, touch, and feeling I'd had comes straight back to me with every memory. I want to travel around the world and have these kinds of memories to look back on my entire life. I think it's pure happiness. =] =] =]
Monday, January 26, 2009
How do I make it stop!?!
I'm almost 18..been driving about 2 almost 3 years.
Yet I have been in four accidents. All of which were not my fault!
Today Haley backed out in the school parking lot..up back out RIGHT INTO MY TRUCK!
UGH! It was lame..but I love her so no hard feelings.
It's going to "snow" tonight, thus everyone runs to the store to buy in bulk. You would think it was the end of the world was coming, when in reality we will have one inch of snow in the morning and some sleet. God I miss Minnesota! So due to the large amount of people I had to bag up front..ew...I hate bagging.
SNOW DAY! Ok well tomorrow will be a snow day! I just found out the canceled school..haha St.Louis makes me laugh!
There are 90 people on FB..yet I am not talking to anyone.
You fade in and out like a unmistakable dream,
each encounter more irrelevant then the next.
Yet the glitter of your smile,
the way my stomach turns inside out,
just at the mention of your name,
seems to command the attention of my very existence.
Those silly dimonds on your chest, make you more adorable then you shall ever know.
The sweet tune you play on that rustic guitar craves my admiration.
Your art is dark and vast, the inspiration cunning and true,
sensible and on cue.
I take in as a black whole swallows.
I soak up everything about you..
I love you more then I could ever love myself.
But who are you? And where have you gone.
This facade you held up at the naked bulb strips me of assurance.
If all is real, then aren't we all trivial?
I crave an existence that had only proven a fraud.
I yearn for a spectacle, an allusion you created.
Then what does this make me?
Where am I? and Who am I?
Oh shit, I don't know.
I am your creation, just as you are mine.
Thrive baby, and do it relentlessly.
Yet I have been in four accidents. All of which were not my fault!
Today Haley backed out in the school parking lot..up back out RIGHT INTO MY TRUCK!
UGH! It was lame..but I love her so no hard feelings.
It's going to "snow" tonight, thus everyone runs to the store to buy in bulk. You would think it was the end of the world was coming, when in reality we will have one inch of snow in the morning and some sleet. God I miss Minnesota! So due to the large amount of people I had to bag up front..ew...I hate bagging.
SNOW DAY! Ok well tomorrow will be a snow day! I just found out the canceled school..haha St.Louis makes me laugh!
There are 90 people on FB..yet I am not talking to anyone.
You fade in and out like a unmistakable dream,
each encounter more irrelevant then the next.
Yet the glitter of your smile,
the way my stomach turns inside out,
just at the mention of your name,
seems to command the attention of my very existence.
Those silly dimonds on your chest, make you more adorable then you shall ever know.
The sweet tune you play on that rustic guitar craves my admiration.
Your art is dark and vast, the inspiration cunning and true,
sensible and on cue.
I take in as a black whole swallows.
I soak up everything about you..
I love you more then I could ever love myself.
But who are you? And where have you gone.
This facade you held up at the naked bulb strips me of assurance.
If all is real, then aren't we all trivial?
I crave an existence that had only proven a fraud.
I yearn for a spectacle, an allusion you created.
Then what does this make me?
Where am I? and Who am I?
Oh shit, I don't know.
I am your creation, just as you are mine.
Thrive baby, and do it relentlessly.
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